My junior year of college is winding down and I am not happy about it. Ask anyone on campus, any of my sisters, my friends, or my family--I am completely miserable and bitter about leaving this year behind.
I have changed so much since the beginning of the school year and so much in my life has changed. Hardly anything in my life is the same since I moved into my dorm in August. I have grown and watched people grow. I have lost some friends but made some amazing new ones. I've made great memories and had some times I'd like to forget. I've cried and laughed and cried from laughing so hard.
Junior Year was completely and utterly perfect, even the bad times.
I am incredibly sad to see this year go. I don't want to let go. I have a really difficult time letting go of things, especially the good things in my life that make me smile. I love holding onto the memories because I fear that nothing this good will ever happen again. It scares me that I will never have as much fun or as great memories than I did this year, even though I know it's not true.
Also, I'm terrible at saying goodbyes. I don't want to say goodbye to my senior friends, my roommates that I won't be living with next year, and even just my friends who I won't see till next August--goodbyes are the worst, even if they aren't really goodbye at all.
I am also holding onto this year so much because I am not ready to be a senior. Being a senior in college is a scary thought; I am one year away from adulthood, something I don't feel ready for at all.
I've just been thinking a lot about letting go and moving on. I will always have the incredible memories from this past year but there is no point in being sad about leaving them behind. These were good times that I should cherish forever, not be sad about them ending.
This is the ending of one chapter in an amazing book that is called College. Sometimes, as scary as it is, you have to let go of the good memories. Try not to cry or let it all out, feel the emotions that you're feeling because it'll make it better in the end. Let yourself enjoy what you've experienced and prepare for the new ones that will come your way.
Let go, move on, and enjoy the ride.
